(WORLD NEWS) Joe And Hunter Biden Have Gotten Together To Save The World With Sex-Wear

Joe And Hunter Biden Have Gotten Together To Save The World

Joe, Jill and Hunter Biden have been sitting around watching the world burn, the babies starve and the economy flat-line.

They have been thinking, for months, about what would save the world. Hunter (being an expert on such things) gave rise to the inspiration that will solve everything.

The Biden Administration has declared: WE NEED MORE P*SSY EATIN’

So the Biden Administration has emergency-declared via the ACTUAL Biden FDA, that you don’t need baby formula, you don’t need a pandemic vaccine that actually works.. you need NEW UNDERWEAR to help you get some action!

The Biden Administration is primarily financed by the homosexuals of Silicon Valley’s Big Tech companies… that explains quite a bit… Lesbians gotta lesbiate…

The Biden’s have spent the full resources of the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT on NOT getting baby formula, NOT getting affordable housing, NOT increasing the pathetic SSA payments to seniors, NOT making gasoline affordable, NOT making food affordable or you name it. The ONLY thing the Biden Administration seems to have been able to pull off is THIS!!!!!!!!??? :

Biden FDA clears ‘cookie’-flavored undies for oral sex as Biden’s reveal true Biden priorities

By

Brooke Kato

Lorals

Talk about a midnight snack.

Whether it’s a brief hookup or a lifelong partner, safe sex and sexy undergarments are key — especially when they’re combined.

A first for undies, the US Food and Drug Administration has authorized prophylactic panties for oral sexually transmitted infections.

The ultrathin, synthetic, flavored underwear from Lorals prevents your lover from biting off more than they can chew, so to speak, by not leaving you or them with an STI.

“Oral sex is not totally risk-free,” Dr. Jeanne Marrazzo, director of the division of infectious diseases at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, told the New York Times.

There is an increased need for extensive protection, especially as “teenagers are initiating their first sexual activity with oral sex,” Marrazzo explained. But even for sexually active people of all ages, using protection can “reduce anxiety and increase pleasure.”

Herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis can all be spread via oral sex, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as well as human papillomavirus, known as HPV — which is one of the most orally transmittable STIs. HPV can be relatively harmless for some; for others, it could lead to a cancer diagnosis of the genitals, cervix, anus, mouth or throat.

woman stretching Lorals panties Lorals

Use of dental dams — a thin piece of stretchy rubber that extends over and inside the vagina, held in place by hand — are typically encouraged by doctors for safe oral sex, but are rarely used. Worse still, they’re more costly than condoms, and harder to find. Typically located online or in adult stores, dams can also be DIY’d by cutting up a condom.

“They’re extremely unpopular,” Marrazzo told the Times. “I mean, honestly, could there be anything less sexy than a dental dam?”

Until now, dental dams were the only available and approved method of protection, but Lorals’ FDA authorization might mean safer oral sex doesn’t have to be so cumbersome.

Founded by Melanie Cristol, Lorals makes disposable, latex underwear that prevents “the transmission of bodily fluids, harmful pathogens and sexually transmitted infections,” the brand claims. Sold in both bikini or “shortie” cuts, the panties are as thin as condoms, but taste way better — like vanilla.

Lorals panties

Lorals

Cristol’s idea for a protective, sexy panty was birthed while on her honeymoon in Mexico, with her then-wife in 2014. When she learned that she’d contracted an STI herself, she rold the Times that she struggled to find the right protection options to share with her partner.

“I was just so discouraged,” said Cristol, who was both a corporate lawyer and a sex educator before launching Lorals. “I wanted to feel sexy and confident and use something that was made with my body and actual sex in mind.”

She invented more than 20 rounds of prototypes before landing on the right design.

Lorals is for “people with vulvas,” their website declares. The name, according to Cristol, was inspired by the letter L, which “evokes words like love and lust.” And the tongue-curling motion that produces the L-sound, “feels a little bit like a movement you use” while participating in oral sex.

One happy customer called them “a solution I didn’t know I needed,” according to the Times. Others were impressed with its comfort and stretchability, and that they tasted like “a cookie.”

“I never thought I would feel that again,” one consumer named Shelly confided to the Times. Her partner, Ashton, a cancer survivor, is immuno-compromised, and requires all the added protection available.

Cue: Lorals. Said a more satisfied Shelly, “He was very, like, gung-ho about it when he realized that: ‘Oh, I can do all the things.’ ”

Thank you Hunter Biden for being such a sick pervert! Certainly the forever horny Kamala (heels up) Harris was first-in-line for the try-outs.

Is this how we are supposed to feed the starving babies?

“Hey kid, we don’t have any baby formula to feed you but how about…..”

UGH

Joe finally got tired of Jill’s hairy stinky ‘ole cootch. He must have thought that the smell of old tuna fish would never go away “down there”. Jill may have not read the latest news about douching and vanilla scented cootchie oil. That is what modern Silicon Valley ladies use so that they get gotten-down-on in the stairwells at Google and Facebook any time they want. Thank God, Joe got this whole rubber underwear thing off to a great start.

Imagine the “sqweeetch, swqeetch, sqweeetch” sound of all those people walking around in their rubber underwear…Fun!